Today I was watching Ruby, the show about a 700+ lb women losing weight naturally through diet and exercise. She has lost 450 pounds and has been hovering over the same weight for about a year now. During this weeks episode, she went to a therapist in an attempt to discover hidden memories about her childhood that may contribute to her size. Her therapist said she was a food addict and should go through the 12 step program. Ruby disagreed, and her therapist said she was in denial. This made me think, am I a food addict? I remember going to the doctor a few years ago (quite a few pounds lighter) and asking for her diet pills. She recommended I join overeaters anoymous. I was outraged...well mostly hurt. Watching that episode, I thought maybe her statement had some validity. I went on their website to see if I could "diagnose" myself. Under "Am I a Food Addict," their were several questions to which I shamefully answered yes to. Well I am not about to go to any meetings and recite the 12 steps and stand up to proclaim, "My name is Brittni and I'm a food addict." I did, however, take note to all references the 12 steps gave to God; realizing that giving up addiction, changing, is not something that you do on your own.
I am giving this fight to God. I will think positively and will give all negative thoughts to God. I know that after years of trying, of going up and down with my weight, I am not good at creating positive change on my own. Through prayer, meditation and an honest confrontation/conversation with my innerself, I will become the person I know I can be.
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